On a cold winter day when the snow was flying through the sky, the King's only brother and only member of the council died. He was so distraught and was on his knees weeping in front of his people. They saw this as a sign of weakness. They didn't accompany the sad King, and instead went back into their huts. King Sugriva, stayed outside his chambers for hours, crying over his dead brother's body. It was dead quite in the Daracus Castle, but noise started to escalate.
Fire started becoming visible inside the civilians huts. The King did not have the mental capacity at the moment to realize what was going on. Blades were being sharpened, and pitch forks were being brought out of the sheds. "ONE, TWO, GOO!" The people of the Daracus Kingdom sprinted out of their huts towards the vulnerable King. He grasped his two swords, and fought for his family name. King Sugriva was the greatest fighter in the north, and was showing his skills against his own people. He fought off about two dozen, leaving them dead on the ground next to his brother. Then the crowd started to overtake the fight.
The King went down and the people cheered. They no longer had their ruthless King overseeing them. The were free! The Newton family was finally gone, and the Kingdom continued happier than they ever have before.
Kingdom of Daracus: (Good Free Photos)
Author's Note:
I liked the reading about King Sugriva and thought I could make use of his vulnerability when his brother died. I also enjoyed the Battle of Rama and Ravana, so I decided to combine the two. Overthrowing a King is always exciting, especially when its done by the people themselves.
Bibliography: Narayan's Ramayana (Link)
Great story you have written here! I really like the overthrow scene, you paint a great mental picture. i feel like I can really see the townspeople sharpening their blades in their huts by the light of the fire. I can't wait to read more of your posts!!!
ReplyDeleteSeriously, great descriptions. Have you ever thought about writing a graphic novel? Just a thought.
Hi Brooks!
ReplyDeleteI really liked your story! I thought it was clever to kind of combine King Sugriva’s story with the battle between Rama and Ravana. It made for an interesting read. I thought your descriptions and details were great. You should definitely keep that up! I thought it would be interesting to see how the plot might change if there was a daughter in the mix. Would King Sugriva treat her as badly as his brothers? Or would he serve more as a protective brother? That could be an interesting plot twist! Maybe she could have even softened him up and bit made him into a better leader. I would also be curious to see how the kingdom functioned without a king. Would they try to replace King Sugriva? Or would they try to live on and make all of their decisions collectively? I think extending this story could potentially be very interesting. Great job!
Hey Brooks! I love combining stories so when I read in your author's note that you did, I was pretty excited to read your story. I took Mythology and Folklore last semester and I got to combine three stories in one which was a bit hard but worked out perfectly. I feel like your story worked out great too! There was some grammatical errors but nothing that made it too hard to decipher. You did an amazing job with describing the fighting scene. I could picture the bodies and the mob finally taking him. I agree with you that overthrowing an evil king is fun to read about. That was definitely a good call for your story. I wonder if you added Rama in the mix, what possibilities could unfold. Maybe Rama could help overthrow the king. Or maybe Rama could help him become a better leader somehow? Or maybe adding a love interest to soften his heart or even be his Lady Macbeth? You did a great job!
ReplyDeleteHi Brooks!
ReplyDeleteI love how you combine the story of Sugriva with the battle of Rama and Ravana. I feel like this is (or can be) a kind of exploration of Sugriva as a leader. Originally, he did not seem to be too great of a leader since he spent first months in power getting drunk and neglecting his promise to Rama. But like you show, what if he was just a terrible leader? What if he was or became cruel or corrupt after being left to his own devices? You could maybe also show how he treated the people of his kingdom. That could give even more reason for the people to take up arms and rebel against him.
You wrote a great story!
Hey Brooks! I really liked how you combined stories here, because I feel like they flowed together really well. I also liked how you switched it up and made Sugriva the bad guy here who dominated the entire kingdom, instead of his brother Vali. It put an interesting twist on the real story! I also liked your descriptions of how the people overthrew Sugriva; it was all pretty detailed and I could imagine it as I was reading it. Great job on the story and good luck with your future ones!
ReplyDeleteBrooks,
ReplyDeleteI liked that there seemed to be two sides to your story, the King's perspective, and the perspective of the people from the kingdom. I would have liked you to explore each perspective a little deeper, and add more detail in general, but overall, I really enjoyed your story.
Great job, I'm looking forward to seeing more of your work.